Birthday parties are funny things once your child begins school.
Gone are the loving home videos of your child surrounded by the people who love them most - Grandma smiling lovingly as your toddler spits cake all over her, cousins running amok, nice family gatherings in the backyard... to be replaced by your child's entire class, some of whom you may not know (or care to know) running wildly around some indoor germ factory. The noise factor alone will do permanent damage to your hearing!
It's a strange phenomena really and truth be told I am beginning to dread those colourful pieces of paper I see my children clutching as they come running out of class! Yes I know - it'd be worse if they DIDN'T get any - but it seems most Fridays I am roaming around trying to find a decent gift for a child I don't even know.
I have been to a few children's parties and I have come to the conclusion that there needs to be an etiquette guide. Yes we all have the Women's Weekly Fabulous Birthday Cake Book, but what we REALLY need is someone to write an etiquette guide - here's a start:
1. (And I made this number one because it's important) Drum Into Your Child The 'Thankyou Very Much' Line When They Open A Gift
Parents, I can't emphasise this enough! I went to a birthday a few weeks ago where the ratbag passed (mostly negative) comments on every present she opened! She didn't like the Barbie we bought and my daughter was devastated, but at least she wasn't the poor child who bought her a book she already had. Birthday brat went on and on and on about what a useless present it was because she already had it. Parents listen up - you MUST have a conversation that goes:
Q: And what do you say if someone buys you something you already have?
A: Thankyou very much
Q: And what do you say if someone buys you something that is hideous?
A: Thankyou very much.
Repeat this conversation every day in the week preceding the party.
2. Do Not Allow Your Child To Blow Out Other People's Candles
No it is not cute. Yes you can control your child. No this is not the time to 'ignore the behaviour you don't like'. My daughter still holds a grudge against the boy who blew out the candles on her ballerina cake!
3. Do Not Assume Your Other Children Are Welcome To Join In
My friend once had a birthday for her daughter at home. Ten sweet little 8 year olds at a fairy party. Lovely. Except for the older brother of one of the guests who mocked the fairies, won all the games and raided the food table long before anyone else got there!
The party mother wanted to punch him - and so did all the fairies!
4 RSVP
Yes I know you are busy, but just do it.
5 About The Invites
Look, be discrete OK? It is expensive to invite everybody and if you are not going to, try to avoid those hurt feelings.
* And as the aunty of a special needs child, I beg you, please consider inviting the special needs kids in the class. If nothing else, karma will be on your side!
Any one else got any others?